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Oneliners from the pen of the WebShowcase Puzzlemaster and our site Visitors - Page 6


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Oneliners - International

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   The most difficult job in Australia? Disposing of unwanted boomerangs.

   What do Greek people say when they don't understand something?

   If fire fighters fight fires and crime fighters fight crime, what do freedom fighters fight?

   Is it true that those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't?

   Everyone thought it amazing when Mary had a little lamb, but the world was shocked when Old Macdonald had a FARM.

   Why do tourists go to the top of huge buildings and put money in a telescope to see things on the ground in close up?

   Wine is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy!

   Veni, Vedi, Visa. = I came, I saw, I paid by credit card.

   Veni, Vedi, Velcro. = I came, I saw, I stuck around.

   The best way to make the headlines? Buy a corduroy pillow.

   I found a note on my windscreen the other day, it said 'parking fine', I thought 'What a nice compliment'.

   Hiroshima: 45.....Three Mile Island: 79.....Chernobyl: 86.....Windows: 95.

   Your worst defeat is only someone else's momentary joy.

   I know our sun is a star, but how does it know to change back into the sun during the daytime?

   I know there is intelligent life on other planets simply because they haven't tried to contact us!

     Crayons can teach us a lot. Some are sharp, broken, pretty, dull, chewed, new, old and every one is a different colour. But somehow they all have to live in the same box.

   Are there any English Take Aways in China?

   The sum of human knowledge is contained in hundreds of languages, not one.

   Of course 'You always find something in the last place you look!' After that you stop looking.

   The fragrance remains in the hand that gives the rose.

   Reference Manual: An object that raises the monitor to eye level.

   You can't have everything......Where would you keep it?

     Sing as though no one can hear you. Dance as if no one were watching. Love as if you've never been hurt. Laugh as if you've only just heard it and Live as though heaven is on earth.

   A real friend is someone who knows everything about you, and still likes you.

   A rich man is not the one who has the most, but the one who needs the least.
































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